Mum has gone back to Melbourne!
I have mentioned in the past that Mum decided to follow us up here to Paynesville as she felt it was too much for me to travel back and forth all the time to see her and she did not want to live so far away from me, so she got into the local Hostel here in Paynesville. After 6 months she decided she was not Hostel material yet and it was costing her so much money she did not have any extra for extra food, personal things, the phone or the pokies! She was lucky enough to get into a two bedroom unit near the shops so after getting rid of all her household stuff cause she did not need it at the hostel, we had to scrounge around for those sort of things once again for her to set up house.
Mum almost managed to stay here in Paynesville for two years. But after me working in Melbourne for the ten weeks which I think was the icing on the cake for Mum, she had made up her mind to go back to Melbourne. She did not want to rely on me too much and found that she was, and wanted to be independant once again! To cut a long story short, she managed to get back to Elsternwick where she was before, but on the first floor! So once again exhaustion set in with all of the organising and the moving back to Melbourne. Not to mention trudging up and down those stairs to the first floor almost killed me during the week of settling Mum in. My knees don't like stairs!
Mum turned 86 on July 31st 2006 and a lot of people were amazed at her wanting to move again. It must be the gypsy in her.... (in joke) I was concerned for her moving back to Melbourne as she was comparing herself as to how she was two years ago and she has changed quite a bit in those two years. She has cataracts on her eyes, but not ready to operate on, also found out she has glaucoma in both eyes and has to use drops for the rest of her life (did you know it is hereditory? Yep the optician said to make sure the family are aware of this and to have regular eye check ups) and if that is not enough she also has macular degeneration! So in other words her sight is not good. She wondered why she felt so unsteady of her feet and it was because she was unsure of the levelness of the ground when walking. She cannot pick up when going from sun to shade if there are steps or see any uneveness on the ground. So for the past two years we have been walking around looping arms to make it easier for her as she was worried she would fall over. While living in Paynesville she did not go out anywhere by herself, she did rely on me to take her everywhere. She did not want to walk down to the shops because there was a hill and no footpaths and was worried she would get hit by a car! There is more to it but I won't go on.
Anyway she got to Elsternwick, she wanted to prove she could still be independant, and not be a burden to any of her family! as she always said in the past. Well for the first few weeks of moving in she relied on me to take her food shopping when I was there. Maggie has taken her down to the supermarket a couple of times to get food. She caught a taxi to the local RSL for lunch with two other ladies and also exhausted herself by getting a taxi to Chadstone shopping centre, got disorientated as the taxi dropped her off at another entry point and not the one she was used to when she regularly went to Chadstone on the community bus over two years ago. I think it gave her a bit of a boost in confidence, but also exhausted her as she had to do so much walking as Chadstone is such a big place.
When here she was saying how good it will be to be back there cause she can walk to the end of the street and catch a bus to the city whenever she wants and walk around in the city and then catch the bus back. Go for walks around the block and walk down to Glenhuntly Road and do her shopping and get it delivered. Well how many times has she done all that in the past 4 weeks?? None! She was also going to come back here to get her hair cut each month and to join in still with the stamping with Narelle and myself. Well she did not come in December cause she was tired and was not sure about catching the train from Caulfield to Bairnsdale. O.K. the confidence she did had about this has gone as she was so eager to do this.
Well Christmas was almost upon us and Mum was invited to my sister Chris's for Christmas and on Boxing Day with Pete's parents which Mum had been included in for many years. She decided to go. Kristy my niece picked up Mum on the Friday before Christmas after work and took Mum down to Rye. Chris and Pete have just had a house built down there and had just moved in. I am not sure of the exact details, but Chris showed Mum about the house and told her what to watch out for and to be careful of cause things were not completed. Well!!!! what happened next, I won't know exactly what, but Mum fell down one of the heater vent holes as they did not have their covers on them yet. Mum went down as her leg went down the hole and she landed on one knee and somehow hit her head also. Mum told me she stayed there for a little while to check she had not broken anything, then got up and did not tell anyone about it. For how long I don't know but she did confess to Kristy and wanted her to keep a secret!, I don't know if it was the next day or later that she had fallen. Kristy could not keep it a secret as she felt Chris should know about it which is fair enough. Just imagine if she had caused some sort of damage or the shock was too much for her and she had died in bed that night. The shock of finding her in the morning and not knowing what had happened and she had bruising on her legs and head???!!! Mum got some bruise cream and applied it to her leg and ended up with a black leg from the knee down. She did not let on I don't think as to how bad she felt, she just wanted to get home into her own bed and place. So Kristy and Chris took her home on the Wednesday or Thursday which was the 27th or 28th December.
Mum said she has not heard from any of the family to see how she is! I am horrified as Mum has not left the unit. Apparently she has been in a lot of pain with her knees and hip and cannot walk up and down the stairs so she is a prisoner in her flat! The shock of it all has set in and she has lost any confidence she did have about going outside, but the pain is so bad she cannot use the steps and there is no lift! This was another concern as Mum was so desperate to move she was willing to take anything even upstairs, whereas in the past when she was there she was so glad she was on the ground floor for that reason! It is now 10 days later and although she says she is starting to feel a bit better she has still not ventured out and still no one has rung her to see how she is! I am angry, probably because I know what Mum can and cannot do and can and cannot see etc, and that vent should have been taped up and covered so no accidents could happen. Mum is also forgetful and cannot see properly, but they would not know all of that because they don't see or speak to her often enough to know how much she has aged and changed these past two years.
I will be going down on Wednesday and most likely stay a week, to get some sort of confidence happening and get her out and about a bit and get some shopping done and anything else that is needed to be done.
Unfortunately when she got home from Chris's her TV had cracked it and was not working. Mum lives for the telly and also to be house bound and not feeling well she almost lost it. Also her new fridge was leaking water on the floor. So she was having doubts about her move. Thankfully Maggie lent mum her little portable TV. Mum will end up with my bigger TV which she used before she bought that one. Unfortunately she has no receipt for warranty purposes and it has already had work done on it once! Costing more than it is worth and it is so damn heavy I will have to organise some help taking it out and disposing of it and carrying mine which is heavy up the stairs! Not an easy task. So the purple palace will have to have the little one in there for now.
My friend Machele has been wonderful, ringing mum up and visiting her often seeing I cannot get down so often now and Maggie and some of the other ladies have been looking out for her too.
Mum did not make it to the January stamping here with Narelle and I as she was in so much pain so again she has not had a hair cut since October now!
So now that I have had my whinge I might think about going to bed as it is oh my goodness 3a.m. and I am not really tired. Probably have the moon shining in on me when in bed and that will keep me awake some more as I just love looking at it! Probably still a very dark orange from all the bushfires smoke covering it!
night night!
posted by Jill @ 2:17 am
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